Face Your Own Surprise

by Jeff Johansson

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1.
it's here if you want it, and I don't know what I was thinking of it's here if you want it and baby we've both been battling longing so call it a truce, it's here if you want it I've made my own share, and whether it's unfair, or whether it's me, I won't even go there but where would I be, if you never found me and took me to task, it's here if you want it though it may not be as clean as it was, there's no telling where I'd be without you we could roam until the world's end, it's such a rough and tumble, clutch and crumble it's here if you want it, so what do you say? do we run out today or take refuge tomorrow? and baby we both know we don't get too long before it slips away it's here if you want it though it may not be as clean as it was, there's no telling where I'd be without you we could roam until the world's end, it's such a rough and tumble, clutch and crumble so what do you say? it's here if you want it, and I don't know what I was thinking of it's here if you want it
2.
now that I’ve had some time to myself I can see just what I’ve become I have done just as you asked me but I remain beholden to no one you have been here through the ages I have watched as you found your way though it pains me dearly, that you’ll soon be leaving I would not beg you to stay like a firefly in the june sky all together, we held back the dark night but when day comes (there’s just) a warm sun and where, oh where shall we hide? I sat and watched the beggar children and thought how sad it must me, as if I had been any different as if they should answer to me but my days weren’t meant to be so deftly spent and these walls could not bear my ceiling but how a master like me could be brought down to his knees by the shame that I should be feeling like a firefly in the june sky all together, we held back the dark night but when day comes (there’s just) a warm sun and where, oh where shall we hide?
3.
Pummeling 05:03
If loving was a game of do it or die, you know you’ll never win, but you'd still give it a try don’t undo your pain, and don’t be ashamed, you gave it what you could but I was stuck & you were just passing by it’s taking me back, through sulfur skies from demon to angel and from angel to ice I built the bridge, but wouldn’t walk over it but playing it safe sure left me lonesome, like the blink of the eye What if we just stopped pummeling ourselves, over and again? Don’t you know every id, has an ego inside, as dark as the river is wide? If loving was a game of do it or die, you know how it will end, but you'd still break through the line, still break through the line
4.
Two Turns 04:46
it’s been a week since you stepped through the door, and I’m gettin’ by but even the coffee in the morning doesn’t lift me like it once did each day, a springtime song is sung, see it changin’ right before my eyes and it’s taking everything I have to stay here on my side but one day I’ll wake up and wonder where it went, it’s not about getting’ over, and it’s not about regret you took two turns, and away you sped and it’s just like you said, it’s five a.m. baby, come back to bed friends, they try to get closer than I really need the conversation wanders around, but it never leaves each night, I go to the coast to hear its argument on some nights I am the stone, brushing the inevitable aside but one day I’ll wake up and wonder where it went, it’s not about getting’ over, and it’s not about regret you took two turns, and away you sped and it’s just like you said, it’s five a.m. baby, come back to bed and I will get to a place where I can forget your face but I ain’t there yet
5.
all I could see was a beautiful girl and she asked, could she walk by my side? she begged me to stay, but I was never there it had nothing to do with my pride ah, ‘cause what makes you proud today by the morning has packed up and gone I don’t think you can hide inside the madness and outside the light let’s keep it unspoken tonight there’s no one that I would rather be except maybe myself in my memory you only live a while, whatever makes you smile engage while you can, stay whimsical child oh, ‘cause what made you smile today by the morning you’re too scared to face I don’t think you can hide inside the madness and outside the light let’s keep it unspoken tonight but once in a dream, she thought she could fly I have seen this sadness soar when she's awake she pines for the moon and the hope she holds still in her eyes I, for one, have seen the toll it can take... and all I could see was a beautiful girl that I wish she could see from the inside and all I could see was a beautiful girl that I wish she could see from the inside so goodnight, Evelyn may your lift-off be soft as your landing goodnight, Evelyn may your lift-off be soft as your landing
6.
How Far? 06:28
either you go as you came, or you’ll end up wishing you had done some things that you long ago told us you’re not gonna do, oh no how far would you go? how far? how far would you go? you’ve been at war with yourself, trying to sell a broken truth you should have known, it’d be hard to return, when it’s worn through and through, oh no how far would you go? how far? how far would you go? it’s hard to face when when things been written through… but we’re moving on, and so my friend should you how would you rewrite the end? were you true down to the core? heartache & pain made it so hard to savor your just reward oh no, how far would you go? how far? how far would you go? it’s hard to face when when things been written through… but we’re moving on, and so my friend should you
7.
8.
I’ve been all night tossing and searching for solutions amenable to both to keep above retribution we sure gave them a helluva show but the lights came up, now it’s time to roll we used to laugh long at the foolish souls kept their heads in the sand, kept on digging their holes but time happens, and nobody stays the same now we’ve no one but ourselves to blame for letting in the cold and not feeding the flame and waiting for a break that never came instead of living in denial, what we never could be let’s agree on the lesson and set each other free to wander through the forest, stay clear of the road, learn to fend for ourselves when the night wind blows so you stay in Denver, and I’ll head on home wherever that is, I’ve always made up my own oh oh is all I can say now we’ve no one but ourselves to face a chance to move ahead, instead of running in place just look into the mirror and state your case, we went where no one had ever been before, danced on the sky, floated on the floor, it could have been a bust, but it was so much more so I’ll be gone by morning, when you wake up, open up the doors and pour yourself a cup yeah, time happens, it's happening to us oh time happens, just look what it did to us, to us
9.
until the water runs out, I'm gonna wet my lips until the water runs out, I'm gonna sail my ships you're gonna wish you were alone at the oasis until the water runs out, I'm taking it inch by inch and when the rain does fall, I'm gonna lift my head when the rain does fall, I'm gonna wonder where you all fled you're gonna wish you were high on a mountain, safe on a ledge instead of catching you by surprise at the water's edge and I'm gonna pull my own ropes, leave my anger aside you're gonna face your own surprise, what you thought was your life was just a room to occupy until the water runs out, I'm gonna get my fill until the water runs out, I'm gonna carry it up the hill you're gonna wish you were stone drunk, face down in the well instead of waiting for the ship to come through the dry spell and I'm gonna pull my own ropes, leave my anchor inside you're gonna face your own surprise, what you thought was your life was just a room to occupy, epitomize and criticize what you can't abide by, at the very least, at the very least you were here to try... to occupy, epitomize, and criticize what you can't abide by at the very least, at the very least you were here to try what you thought was your life was just a room to occupy...

credits

released September 7, 2010

written and produced by Jeff Johansson
all songs copyright 2010

co-produced by Greg Sipes
additional recording & production assistance by David Bradshaw
artwork & site design by Ava Savitsky

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